


When the sun sets....

by Nyb_Paradinight



Category: Haikyuu!!, ハイパープロジェクション演劇「ハイキュー!!」| Hyper Projection Play "Haikyuu!!" RPF
Genre: Angst, Bradycardia, I cried while making this, I'm sorry about this, M/M, Undiagnosed Bradycardia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:14:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29893404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyb_Paradinight/pseuds/Nyb_Paradinight
Summary: Hinata is the light in a dark room. He brings colors to things that were once dull. Like a light that can’t burn out, like the sun that never sets. But soon, the sun will set. And things will go back to the way they used to be. Dull and gray.A story in which Kageyama denies falling in love with Hinata. In which Hinata dies before Kageyama builds the courage to tell him anything.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	When the sun sets....

**Author's Note:**

> My friend sort of came up with the prompt for this one, so credits to her haha. They cuddle and make eye contact a lot, but idk i think its kinda cute? Also I'm sorry for the tears I may cause.

Hinata’s house was always bright, no matter the time of day. It could be the middle of the night, and his house would be as bright as the sun. At least, that’s how Kageyama saw it. He enjoyed being in Hinata’s presence, even if he had trouble showing it. The warm feeling Hinata emitted, how he brightened up a room. It was like he was the sun. Except the light never left.

Recently, Kageyama noticed Hinata’s absences. He didn’t say anything, only because he didn’t want to show how much he cared for Hinata. But he hasn’t been around as much. He’s still as bright as ever when he is around, and if it's even possible he seems brighter. Hinata’s absence is noticed, though. Rooms become darker, colors become duller. Everything seems so different without him. 

Kageyama blamed those odd occurrences on the indecisiveness of the sun, as well as lights being replaced or getting old. All reasonable occurrences.

Kageyama had to deny the fact that he missed Hinata. But why was he disappearing? Was there something wrong with him? No, that couldn't be it. Hinata was the same as always. Other than the few times he fainted during practice, but that’s only because he was overworking himself. Right? Kageyama would recall the nights he and Hinata would stay later than they were supposed to, and practice.

It was still puzzling how Hinata could still be the same, even after he had drained all his energy. He’s like a bulb that doesn't burn out.

Kageyama was playing on his phone, sitting on Hinata’s bed. Hinata had gone to shower, so Kageyama was alone with his thoughts. Nothing much happened while Hinata was away. Oddly enough, Natsu came into the room to talk a bit with Kageyama, and then left.

“Hey, Kageyama! Have you showered yet?” Hinata’s voice rang from the bathroom.

“Yes, I have, dumbass.” Kageyama was as mean as always. He had no reason to be nice, and it seemed like Hinata didn’t care that he was mean.

Hinata walked into the room, with a sweater on. He wasn’t wearing pants, only a pair of boxers covering him. Tossing his old clothing at his laundry basket, and missing, Hinata jumped onto the bed, landing right next to Kageyama.

“Whatcha doing?” Hinata smelled like his tangerine and mango shampoo. Kageyama turned off his phone, and looked over at Hinata.

“I was waiting for you.”

“Huh? Waiting for me? That’s a first.” Hinata had traces of sarcasm in his voice.

“Are we practicing or not, dumbass?”

“But the gym’s probably closed. We can practice here if you want”

“Dumbass, we can’t practice in your room.”

“No Kageyama!! I meant outside!! Like in my backyard!!” Hinata’s smile was vibrant.

“Is your backyard big enough?”

“Yeah!! I mean, I used to practice there all the time!!”

“Dumbass, that’s only you. Are you sure two people can practice there?”

“I’m like 99% sure!” Hinata beamed at Kageyama.

“Fine. Grab the volleyball.” Hinata’s smile grew wider, as he jumped over to his bedside table and grabbed his volleyball. Almost falling over, Hinata ran as fast as he could to his bedroom door. Loud clattering sounds came from the door, as he ran outside. Kageyama walked, slow enough to annoy Hinata but fast enough that he was actually moving.

The air was cold. Colder than Kageyama thought it would be. Hinata still didn’t have pants on. He got so excited that he and Kageyama were going to play volleyball that he forgot to put pants on.

“Hey, go put some pants on dumbass. It’s cold outside.” 

“But I wanna practice,” Hinata said, with a pleading look in his eyes.

"No, go put some pants on. It’s that, or we don’t practice when you get sick.”

“Fine fine I’ll go.” reluctantly, Hinata went back inside. Kageyama stared at the door Hinata just went through. He didn’t realize how dark it was. The cold light of the moon illuminating Hinata's backyard.

“I’m back,” Hinata said, wearing pants that weren’t pulled up all the way. Playing volleyball was his number one priority, putting on pants would come second.

“Alright, dumbass. So how do we practice outside?”

“I guess we could hit it to each other. Like practice our receives or something!” Hinata was more excited than Kageyama was about practicing in his backyard. It was big enough for Kageyama and Hinata to both fit with enough room to be able to receive from a whole bunch of places, but Kageyama was weary Hinata would run into something.

“You better be careful, dumbass. I don’t think your mother wants you running into anything and breaking it.”

“So mean, bakayama. I’m careful enough.” Hinata started to pout. The small frown placed on Hinata’s face, fitting him just right.

Hinata started to pass the ball to Kageyama. Losing track of time, even though it hadn’t been that long since they went outside to practice. Hinata seemed tired. Eyelids looked heavy, his movements became sloppy.

“Hey, are you tired?” Kageyama didn’t want to sound worried, he brushed off the urge to add ‘dumbass’ at the end of the sentence.

“No, I just have a headache. I get them all the time, let's just keep going.” Hinata’s speech was slurred. Almost drunk words spilling out of his mouth, Hinata started to mumble about how this happens all the time. Kageyama thought he heard him say “why now”. 

“No. I think that’s enough for tonight.” A sad expression grew on Hinata’s face. Fluttering eyelids constricting the view of those beautiful brown eyes. Kageyama could tell something was wrong. One step forward, Hinata got closer and closer to Kageyama. He wanted to practice. 

“Kageyama…” Hinata collapsed. Kageyama stood there. What was he supposed to do? He didn’t want to hurt Hinata by moving him, but he didn’t want to leave him outside either. Deciding on picking him up, Kageyama threw the volleyball away to an unknown corner of Hinata’s backyard. Hinata was more important. Carefully, Kageyama lifted Hinata’s small body. Cautiously lifting and moving Hinata inside. Was Hinata’s mother home yet? The house seemed darker. Did Natsu turn some lights off? That must be why. 

Placing Hinata down on his bed, Kageyama sat beside the bed staring at Hinata. He looked so peaceful. Almost lifeless. Hinata’s breathing was quiet. Orange hair a mess, Kageyama had to fight the urge to push it out of his face. It was still bright, even though it was the middle of the night.

The soft light of the moon illuminating the room, dancing on Hinata’s features. His eyes fluttered open. The beautiful pair of eyes now staring back at Kageyama, for a little while they sat there and stared at each other. Kageyama wanted to stay like this for a while longer, but Hinata’s eyes slowly closed. Watching the subtle rise and fall of Hinata’s chest, resisting the urge to hold Hinata’s hand in his own.

Kageyama wondered if he should just go back home and sleep. Hinata was sleeping, so Kageyama assumed he wouldn’t notice him leaving as he got up and grabbed his phone. He could hear Hinata shifting behind him, but he paid no attention to it. Walking out of the bedroom door into the dark house, he was met with no light. Like he was staring into the abyss. Slowly, being careful not to trip over anything left out by Natsu, he exited the house. 

The cold street was only lit up by street lights. The road seemed like it went on forever, as if he was walking in circles. Finally, he arrived at his house. Quietly opening the door, it was as dark as Hinata’s house. Maybe even darker. He contemplated turning the light on, but ended up walking in the dark. His bed was cold, but it always was. Grabbing the blanket and covering himself, slowly drifting off into a peaceful slumber.

~~

School was as boring as ever. Kageyama didn’t bother paying attention to what the teacher was saying. He was more worried about what happened to Hinata. He doesn’t seem like the type of person to worry, but after what happened last night he was worried. What had happened? Kageyama remembered that he might have heard Hinata say “why now” but with the way Hinata was mumbling and slurring all his words, it was hard to tell if that's what he actually said. After a bit of zoning in and out, Kageyama came to the consensus that Hinata might not have eaten much that day and then passed out.

Although Hinata never skipped meals. So it didn’t make sense that one day out of a million he would just stop eating. It was unlikely that Hinata didn’t have anything, and even then Hinata does have endless energy. He could climb a skyscraper if he put his mind to it. So what was the reason? Kageyama knew the teacher would probably call on him, but he didn’t care. Where was Hinata anyways? He’d probably see him at practice.

~~

Carefully, Kageyama walked into the gym. He looked worried, until he saw the familiar orange hair. Running up to spike Suga’s serve. He smiled, but quickly went back to the annoyed expression he would always wear. Seeing Hinata as energized as ever gave him a sense of relief. Although he didn’t want Hinata to know he was worried about him. 

Practice went by as fastly as ever. That night, Hinata asked Ukai if he could stay in the gym and practice for a little longer. Hinata promised he would lock the door before he left, and Ukai reluctantly said yes. Kageyama saw Hinata standing there, wondering how he could practice on his own. Kageyama could tell, by the look in Hinata’s eyes, that he wanted to practice spiking. It took Kageyama a second to contemplate whether or not he should go into the gymnasium and practice with Hinata. Ultimately, he decided he would stay and practice. What if Hinata fainted again and no one was there to help him?

The gymnasium was bright. The lights were hurting Kageyama’s eyes. Trying to be as loud as he can, he walked into the gymnasium. Hinata didn’t seem to notice, which was unusual for him. But Kageyama passed it off as an odd coincidence. 

“Hinata,” Kageyama yelled across the gymnasium. He succeeded in getting his attention, even though Hinata got hit in the head with the ball that he threw into the air.

“Kageyama!! Wanna practice with me?” Hinata looked happy.

“Sure, but not for long,” Kageyama said, trying to come up with an excuse as quick as he could. “I have to get home before dinner.”

“Alright, come on!! Hurry up, hurry up!!” Hinata was excited they were going to practice together.

Kageyama was still worried Hinata would faint again, although Hinata wasn’t the same as the night before. He seemed more energetic. As if last night's show didn’t happen. He was hitting the sets perfectly, and running to get the ball as well. Kageyama kept a close eye on Hinata. He wanted to make sure he didn’t faint again. 

After some time passed, Kageyama called it a night. He was tired, and didn’t want Hinata to over exert himself. Reluctantly, Hinata agreed to go home.

“Can I walk you home, Hinata?” Kageyama hesitated before the words spilled out of his mouth like an overflowing glass. The look of surprise on Hinata’s face made Kageyama’s Heart pound.

“Uhh, sure I guess?” Thank god he didn’t refuse, because then Kageyama would have to trial behind him like a leopard stalking its prey.

It was quiet outside, other than Hinata’s occasional sneeze or trip. Hinata had always been pretty clumsy, and Kageyama didn’t blame him for being even more faulty then usual. Hinata looked just as tired as Kageyama, although he was always energetic. Practice probably tired him out, as well as the stress of his fainting last night.

Kageyama wondered if he should make sure Hinata gets to sleep okay, but he decided to trust Hinata. After all, he could take care of himself. Waving goodbye, Hinata looked as bright as ever. The night got darker, and the road seemed longer. He didn’t care if Hinata’s house was in the opposite direction as his, as long as his friend was safe. His home was as boring as ever, and somehow looking more gray than the last time he walked into his house.

Cold blankets tossed onto the floor carelessly, while Kageyama decided to stay up. There was really no reason too, seeing as he didn’t watch much television, as well as he wasn’t into reading as much as others. It seemed like there was nothing to do except think. So, as one does, he let his mind wander. It dove to the depths of the sea, and explored the outermost points of the galaxy. But somehow, when one thought led to another, he would always come back to Hinata. As if he was unconsciously relating things to the energetic boy he played volleyball with.

At some point, while his mind was off somewhere in a rainforest, he thought Hinata might like to be in a rainforest. Hinata would probably climb trees, or run around and maybe fall since he is known to be quite clumsy, or he’d collect odd things laying on the forest floor. Kageyama felt himself hoping Hinata would bring him the mushrooms and moss he would find in the rainforest, like a sort of gift.

After a moment, he realized he should get some sleep. Thinking of the orange haired boy was a method of passing time, but he didn’t want to stay up too late. So, he slowly drifted off into the night.

~~

The day felt the same as the last, although the teacher said different things. It went by as slow as ever, dragging on throughout his core subjects. When lunch finally rolled around, he went to the usual place where him and Hinata would usually hang out. This time, even though Hinata never skipped lunch, he wasn’t there. The short boy, who would always sit in the same place every time Kageyama saw him, wasn’t there.

Maybe, Kageyama thought, he was upset that Kageyama hadn’t showed up yesterday, so he didn’t show up today to do what Kageyama did to him. Although, Kageyama knew all of Hinata’s hiding places. So it would be easy to find him.

He was nowhere to be found. Hinata might have taken the day off today, but Kageyama recalled every day Hinata took off was always with notice. Hinata would always say if he wasn’t going to show up to school, so Kageyama could bring home his homework. 

Other students hadn’t seen him today either. Which was odd, considering that if Hinata was at school and hiding in a different hiding place, at least one person would know where he was. Or would have at least seen him. Truth be told, he is hard to miss. With his bright smile, and his bubbly personality, only a lunatic would miss him in a crowd.

Kageyama called his parents and, with a lot of effort, convinced them to let him go home early. He ran straight to Hinata’s house, just to check on him. He was worried, after all. That's what friends do.

Natsu answered the door. Hinata’s mother wasn’t home, so Hinata and Natsu were all alone. Wondering what to say, he finally constructed a half-decent sentence.

“Is Hinata… Okay?” he wasn’t even sure if Natsu would tell him the truth.

“I guess.” Even though she was a child, she wasn’t stupid. 

“Could I possibly come in and check on him? I’m just really worried about him.”

“Yeah,” Natsu seemed a little hesitant at first, probably because of warnings from her parents not to let strangers into the house. After a second, she remembered who he was and moved out of the way, gripping the collar of her shirt slightly.

His house was bright, considering the lack of lights turned on. Hinata’s door was closed. He slid it open, and saw Hinata sound asleep. He didn’t want to be a bother to Natsu, but before he could say anything she said that Hinata wanted to see Kageyama. According to her, Hinata asked Natsu to tell Kageyama that he was doing okay when he came over. Hinata knew Kageyama would check on him. Kageyama chuckled a bit, looking back at Hinata.

He looked so peaceful. The sleeping face Hinata made was adorable in every way. 

After a moment of staring at Hinata, he turned around and asked Natsu when her mother would be home.

“Around midnight, I think.” the uncertainty in Natsu’s voice made Kageyama uneasy. He decided to trust her judgement, since she was the only individual in the house, other than Kageyama, that was awake and talking to him. Although, she left shortly after. Probably to go watch the TV, playing it quietly so she didn’t disturb Hinata’s beautiful slumber.

Kageyama stared at Hinata for a while, then turned his gaze over to his phone. He called his parents, and asked them if it was okay if he stayed the night. 

“Alright, as long as Hinata’s mom are okay with it,” his mother replied.

He hung up after saying his thanks, and wishing his mother a peaceful sleep. Natsu was watching TV, just like he thought. Some kids show that he didn’t recognize. 

“Hey, Natsu? Do you have your mothers number?”

“I don’t remember it well, but I think she wrote it down somewhere…” Natsu was thinking. “Right, it’s on a piece of paper in the kitchen!!”

“Thank you,” Kageyama said, turning to walk into the kitchen. It was pretty obvious where the piece of paper was, since it was just lying on the counter. He picked it up, and looked at the numbers carefully. He didn’t have to remember them, he just needed to make sure he typed it out right. Slowly but surely, he spelled out all of the numbers into his phone. He could call them, and ask them if it was okay if he stayed over now.

The phone rang for what felt like an eternity.

“Hello? Who is this?” It was Hinata’s mother.

“It’s Kageyama, Hinata’s friend.”

“Oh, hello, Kageyama,” Hinata’s mother sounded excited to be talking to someone right now.

“I was just calling to see if it was okay if I stayed over at Hinata’s house tonight.” He was nervous, but he didn’t show it.

“Yes, that would be wonderful!”

“Alright, thank you Mrs. Hinata.”

“Wait, before you go, I have a question for you.”

“Oh, okay,” did she want him to make sure Natsu went to bed on time?

“Could you stay with Hinata for a couple weeks? I’m on a business trip right now, so I won’t be back for a while, and I don’t want to put all the responsibilities onto Hinata.”

Why would she go on a business trip when her son fainted only two days ago?

“Uh, sure. I’ll have to ask my parents, but I’ll try my best.”

“Thank you so much.” They said their goodbyes, Hinata’s mother thanked him a lot more times than he would have wished, and he tried his best to carry on a boring conversation. Never in Kageyama’s life had he hoped someone would interrupt a phone call than right now. They eventually hung up, and he went back to sit beside Hinata.

~~

It seemed like hours had passed since he talked to his parents, but he knew they would still be up right now. He called them.

“Hey, so Hinata’s mom is out of town for a while and she asked me to stay for a week or two. Would that be okay?” The silence between when he said that and when his mother started talking again was deafening.

“Sure, but you have to come home sometimes during the week. Just so I can make sure everythings going okay. And if you need help with things around the house, then you can call me and I’ll be over there as fast as I can.” She gave out a list of rules for him, but he knew he wouldn’t follow them.

“Okay, thank you mom.” He hung up the phone. It was past midnight, although it felt like 6:30. Natsu went off to bed after saying goodnight to Kageyama, and checking on Hinata. She was a fairly responsible kid, considering her age. where could Kageyama sleep? He could sleep on the couch, or he could see if there was a futon anywhere. 

After what seemed like hours of him trying to decide, he fell asleep beside Hinata. Finding himself not wanting to leave the gingers side, incase something happened over night. Far away but close enough is how he decided to sleep. Outside of Hinata's room, but close enough to hear his soft breathing.

~~

The soft light coming from the windows of the room woke Kageyama up. Hinata was still sound asleep, his breathing even and quiet. He checked the time, and realized he had around an hour to get into school. Since Hinata always rode his bike, Kageyama's mother offered to drive them to school until Hinata's mother came back.

They could make it to school in around 10 minutes, so Kageyama wasn't that worried about being late for school. Setting a timer for 20 minutes, Kageyama went to make something for Hinata. He thought Hinata might appreciate him making breakfast. Natsu wasn't up yet, but Hinata's mother said they had an aunt dropping her off to do whatever she did during the day so that was taken care of. 

Kageyama looked into the cupboards and found lots of snacks, and some ingredients. He wasn’t great at cooking, but he knew he could make something out of what he saw from the cupboard. And he had his phone on him, so he could always look up substitutes for things. After a minute of thinking about what he could make from what he saw in the cupboard, he decided on making something simple. Sandwiches sounded like a good idea, since they were easy to make and Natsu could take it in the car with her aunt.

Napkins were hard to find, but after a moment of wandering through the cupboards and drawers he finally found some. He placed the sandwiches onto the napkin, and handed one to Natsu. He heard a thanks escape her already full mouth, as he walked over to Hinata. He would have grabbed a plate, but he didn’t want to be rude so napkins were the best option.

Hinata was still sound asleep, so Kageyama was waiting for his timer to go off. He would wake him up by then, if Hinata wasn’t awake. Soft light came from the living room, falling onto Hinata’s face. Staring longingly at the adorable features on Hinata’s face scrunching up, and Hinata woke up. His eyes fluttered open, revealing his beautiful eyes once again to Kageyama. He couldn’t help himself from staring at them.

Hinata rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, slowly adjusting to his light surroundings. The sun seemed to have risen more than before, it was getting brighter and brighter. Hinata yawned, stretched, and sat up. Still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he looked over at Kageyama. At first it seemed he didn’t notice that Kageyama was there. A moment after, though, Hinata looked at him confused.

“Kageyama?” His morning voice was quiet.

“Hey. Uhh your mother asked me to stay over at your house cause she left for a business trip. She’ll be back in a couple of weeks.” Hinata still looked a bit confused, but didn’t seem to mind having Kageyama there. Small smiles were exchanged, as Natsu ate her sandwich loudly in the living room.

“Ooh, what’s that smell?” Hinata sniffed around in the air, smelling the sandwiches.

“Ah, I made food.” Handing the sandwich over to Hinata, Kageyama sighed at the way Hinata immediately started eating the food. A thank you was mumbled through a full mouth, just like Natsu. You could tell they were siblings since they shared the same manners.

Sandwiches had disappeared, and Hinata was smiling. He looked over at Kageyama.

“How will you get to school?” Hinata didn’t know about Kageyama’s mother coming to pick them up, so he was assuming Kageyama was either walking or taking public transit.

“My mom’s going to pick us up and drive us to school.”

“Oh, that’s cool.” Kageyama remembered hearing from Hinata’s mother that Hinata was consistently late to his classes during the morning, as well as taking longer than usual to get home from school. Remembering the day he walked Hinata home, there was a bit of a distance between them. Hinata was usually in front, but he was behind this time. Kageyama tried slowing down, but Hinata was only walking slower and slower.

“She should be here in about 10 minutes, so we should get ready to go.” He was already packed up and prepared to leave for school, but Hinata, who had just woken up, wasn’t even close to being ready. His hair was a mess, and he was wearing clothes that were too big for him.

Jumping up, and getting some fitting clothes on took longer than Kageyama thought it would take Hinata. Waiting for him to come out of the room, he scrolled through on his phone. Not many notifications, except for some of his games telling him his “energy” was refilled, or there was an event going on.

“Alright, I’m ready to go!” Hinata was wearing a sweater that seemed like it was thrown on, and a random pair of pants. Kageyama didn’t mind. Familiar ringtones filled the space they were in, as Kageyama’s timer went off as well as his mother texting him that she was outside of the house.

“Just in time, my mom’s outside right now.” they went out the door, making sure to lock it behind them. Kageyama’s mother was waiting for them in front of the house, just like she said she would be. Smoke was coming from one of the neighbours houses, but Hinata said the neighbour was a smoker so nothing was wrong over there. Warm seats were welcoming them into the car, as they were being driven to school. It was a shorter drive than any of them anticipated, so they were earlier than they usually were to school.

Empty hallways and some muffled chatter between teachers was the only thing happening in the school. Kageyama was walking Hinata to his class, to make sure he got there on time. The teacher was a bit surprised to see him coming into class on time, let alone earlier than most other students.

Goodbyes were exchanged between the two of them, and Kageyama headed off to his classroom. His teacher wasn’t as surprised to see Kageyama early, since sometimes he would go in early because his mother had something to do with her work.

Kageyama and Hinata texted between each other all morning, as well as throughout their lunch hour. Hinata had to stay inside because his teacher wanted to talk to him about his absences and how he was consistently late to classes. After a minute or two of talking with one another, Hinata had to talk to his teacher. He stopped texting for the rest of the day. Kageyama didn’t see Hinata again until he saw him looking for his bike, like he always would be. Kageyama’s mother was almost there, so he didn’t have to worry about being outside for too long of getting told by teachers to walk home.

“Hey, dumbass. My mom’s picking us up today, remember?” Hinata’s gaze met Kageyaa’s, and their eyes locked for a moment. Kageyama felt like he never wanted this moment to end, but Hinata broke their eye contact and laughed it off.

“No, I totally forgot about that, haha,” Hinata giggled, Kageyama’s heart fluttered a bit when Hinata looked back at him. They stayed like that for a while, until Kageyama’s phone buzzed. It was his mother telling him she was there to pick them up. He knew that. But he didn’t want him and Hinata to break eye contact. Keeping the intense stare they both had, Kageyama ignored all the messages from his mother. Hinata was the first to break eye contact, when he looked over at Kageyama’s mothers car.

“There’s our ride,” Hinata said. Oddly enough, Hinata walked over to the car instead of the skipping or jump-like run that he usually did. Kageyama was walking behind Hinata this time, so at least that was normal. Hinata climbed into the car. His body looked smaller than when Kageyama first got to know him. Hinata couldn’t blame that on exercise, since that wouldn’t necessarily make a person smaller. Let alone making Hinata, who was already a fairly small person, smaller than he already was would be impossible. So Kageyama made a mental note about asking him later. Maybe there was a medical explanation for all of this, and Hinata didn’t tell anyone about it because it wasn’t hindering his ability to play volleyball. 

The sky was blue, and the car was quiet. Small talk was made between Hinata and Kageyama’s mother. An awkward air settled around them, as Kageyama felt out of place sitting in this car. As if he wasn’t supposed to be witnessing this conversation, and he subconsciously knew it.

That air disappeared when they got to Hinata’s house. Kageyama’s mother had made them something to have for dinner, so Hinata and Kageyama didn’t have to worry about making anything for tonight. She remembered to put something in for Natsu too. Even though she is a bit of a forgetful person, when it came to her son she forgot almost nothing. Other than the occasional, unimportant, request from Kageyama for his mother to pick up a certain snack from the store.

Underneath the rug was a spare key, which was a cliche place to put it but Hinata’s mother didn’t mind. The neighbourhood was a safe place. Clicking came from the handle, signifying the unlocking of the door. They both walked in, and Natsu wasn’t home yet. Kageyama said goodbye to his mother, and placed the food his mother made on the counter near the fridge.

“Oh, Kageyama! We need to find a good place for you to sleep!” A smile was painted on that beautiful face again, and Kageyama felt a warm and fuzzy feeling creeping into his cheeks.

“Alright.” He didn’t want to talk much, since he wouldn’t be able to suppress the feelings he started to feel. The happy, warm, and cozy ones.

They managed to find a futon for Kageyama to sleep on, but they had to place it somewhere. Hinata suggested a few places, but Kageyama knew where he wanted to sleep. He wanted to keep watch over Hinata. Waiting for the right time to suggest sleeping outside of Hinata’s bedroom, they walked through the house. Finally, Hinata suggested he slept in his room. Kageyama was happy to say yes to the question, and Hinata threw the futon across his room.

“Be careful with that. That’s where I’m sleeping tonight.” Kageyama chuckled, and Hinata flopped down onto the bed, rolling around.

“I’m bored,” Hinata said.

“Well, then we should do something. What should we do?”

“Uhhh, we could play a board game,” Hinata muttered. He seemed embarrassed to be suggesting that.

“Sure, board games sound fun.” Hinata lit up with excitement, and Kageyama felt fuzzy again. Walking as fast as he could to a cupboard that Kageyama didn’t know existed, and pulled out a random game.

“This one’s great! We play this all the time with Natsu!” The game’s name was “trouble”, and it looked fun. Kageyama gave it a try.

After Hinata went through the rules, and the “How to Play”, he and Kageyama started playing. Some time later, they finished the game. Kageyama ended up winning, and Hinata congratulated him.

Natsu came home shortly after their game. Checking the time every once in a while, Kageyama was waiting till it was a good time to give them their food. Lucky enough for him, Hinata and Natsu announced loudly that they were hungry in a few minutes. They both were jumping around and asking for food.

“Alright, let’s see what my mom brought us.” Both Hinata and Natsu looked longingly at the bag of food. There were a few meat buns, as well as some cookies for a treat after they ate their food. As well as a bunch of other things lying around in the bag, which were all snack-like things. They appreciated it just as much as if it was a meal.

Flipping through the channels, they finally decided on an odd looking cartoon that both Natsu and Hinata seemed fairly interested in. They were practically the same person when it came down to their interests. Although, contrary to popular belief, Hinata only watched the show’s because it made Natsu happy. Cartoons wouldn’t be his first choice in any different circumstance.

~~

Night rolled around, and Kageyama remembered to ask Hinata the question.

“Hey, Hinata. Uhh can I ask you a question?”

“Sure, ask away!”

“Ok, so… You’ve kind of been walking slower than usual lately and I’m wondering why.” Kageyama didn’t want to show how nervous he was, so he stopped talking as soon as he could.

“Oh, I don’t know. Probably because I’m getting older and stuff.”

“You’re acting like you’re in your late 50’s. What's been going on Hinata?” Kageyama questioned Hinata.

“It’s like I said, I’ve been getting older and my stamina has been going down and stuff…”

“Don’t lie to me, Hinata.” Kageyama was a patient individual, but he wasn’t going to put up with Hinata lying to him.

“I…” he seemed at a loss for words. Kageyama gave him a second. “It’s a medical condition. I have an abnormally slow heartbeat… and I pretended it was getting better.”

“Hinata, why didn’t you say anything earlier?” 

“I didn’t want to worry you. Plus, at this point it’s incurable. I’ve waited too long for anything like antibiotics to work or anything. So I’m just trying to keep a positive attitude!” Hinata’s smile returned. Kageyama felt his heart drop to his stomach. How could Hinata hide that from everyone? 

“Am I the only one who knows?” Kageyama wanted to know whether or not Hinata was really hiding things from people, or if he had told at least someone.

“Yeah. I mean, other than my mom. But she thinks I’m cured or whatever so… You’re the only one that knows.” Hinata was still smiling, but it slowly faded away the more he spoke. Feeling tears well up in his eyes, Kageyama stared at Hinata with a worried look on his face.

“Can I hug you?” Kageyama didn’t know if Hinata could suddenly collapse and not wake up one day, so he wanted to treat every day with care.

“Yeah.” Smiling subtly, they both held each other in their arms for a while. It was peaceful. Sitting there, with Hinata in his arms, was a wondrous experience for Kageyama. The way Hinata’s slow rise and fall of his back was calming, and the slight pressure Kageyama felt on his back from Hinata’s small hands. 

“Do you know if you have a… time limit?” Kageyama asked into Hinata’s hair.

“Yeah… I don’t know how long it is though,” Hinata whispered, muffled by Kageyama’s chest. He felt his heart drop again, and his throat started hurting. He wanted to cry, but he needed to stay strong for Hinata. His breath was shaky, and he felt a warm sensation along his chest. Hinata was crying. Quietly, Hinata cried into Kageyama’s embrace. They pulled each other closer, not wanting this moment to end. 

Soon enough, Hinata fell asleep in Kageyama’s arms. Kageyama layed Hinata down, and climbed into the futon that Hinata threw into the room earlier. Sleep didn’t come to him until a while later. Worried about how much time him and Hinata had left, Kageyama laid awake for most of the night. Not making a sound.

~~

Morning rolled around sooner than Kageyama anticipated, as he squinted from the bright lights coming from outside of the door. The sunlight was leaking into the room. Hinata’s quiet breathing almost lulled Kageyama back into a peaceful slumber, but he got up as fast as he could. Trying not to trip over Hinata, Kageyama climbed over to the kitchen. It seemed Natsu was still sleeping too. 

Remembering it was the weekend, Kageyama gathered some snacks Hinata liked and came back into the room. His phone was dying, so he borrowed Hinata’s charger for a while. Placing the snacks close enough to hinata that he could smell them, Kageyama stared at the orange haired boy sitting there. Knowing he might not have much time left with Hinata was a terrible feeling. He resisted crying, since Hinata was sleeping. He didn’t want to wake him up.

Kageyama’s mother had said that she would bring some groceries to Hinata’s house later that day, since Kageyama had texted her about there being a lack of food in the cupboards. Although, Kageyama wasn’t worried. Hinata probably didn’t have any money on him, and didn’t bother going out to buy some more food. It’s not like they were starving.

Kageyama wished he could hold Hinata again, like he did last night. He wished he could feel Hinata in his arms once again. Sluggishly rolling over, Hinata stared back at Kageyama. It stayed like that for a while, which is what both of them wanted. They wished this moment could last forever, but Hinata seemed like he smelled the food, and snatched the bag as quickly as he could. All that could be heard was Hinata gulping down the food as fast as he could, while Kageyama watched him. An amazed look lay on Kageyama’s face, Hinata wasn’t paying much attention to his surroundings. He was staring intently at his food, as well as the snacks in front of him. Hinata was always a big eater, so Kageyama was happy to see him enjoying the food just as much as before. Natsu still wasn’t up yet, which was fine. Kageyama wanted to spend the rest of the day staring at Hinata, but he knew that there were things he had to do.

Just like his mother said, there was food sitting at the front door. Kageyama’s mother promised to keep in contact with both Hinata’s mother, and Kageyama. One of the first things she asked Kageyama and Hinata’s mother was about allergies or food restrictions. You never know if a parent allows their kids to eat certain foods or not. As well as that, she didn’t want Hinata or Natsu to eat anything they were allergic to.

After a minute of Hinata eating his food, he got up and walked over to Kageyama. Watching him put away some of the groceries, Hinata picked up his phone. It was at 58%, so he asked Kageyama where his charger was. He couldn’t find it, since it wasn't in the usual place that it was always in.

“Yeah, I used it this morning. My phone was almost dead, but I’ll ask my mom to bring mine over later.” Kageyama didn’t look back at Hinata. He just kept putting away the ingredients his mother brought over for him. Hinata came over to Kageyama, and tugged on his shirt. It took a moment for Kageyama to notice, and once he did he looked at his shirt where Hinata’s hands were, and slowly drifted his gaze into Hinata’s eyes.

“What is it, Hinata?” he asked delicately, as if Hinata might shatter if he spoke any louder. After a moment, Hinata’s eyes dropped to the floor.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about… this… earlier,” Hinata whispered, while gesturing to his chest. 

“Oh, it’s fine. I was just kind of shocked to hear it.” waiting for an answer, Kageyana’s mind started racing. He was thinking of every possible thing that could be going wrong with Hinata at this moment. But Hinata stayed quiet, looking back up at Kageyama. The layer of crystal tears over his eyes moved Kageyama to hug his friend, holding him close. Why Hinata was crying, he didn’t know. All he knew was that Hinata needed him right now. And he was willing to be there for him.  
Hinata was shaking while he cried into Kageyama’s chest. His crying was audible, but he was trying to suppress them so he didn’t wake up Natsu. Tightly holding Hinata as softly as he could, he placed his face into Hinata’s hair. It smelled sweet. As if Hinata had recently gotten out of the shower, his mango shampoo poured into his senses. It was peaceful. It felt nice placing his nose into Hinata’s hair, and holding him as close as he could. After a minute, Hinata finally broke the silence. 

“I don’t want to die.”

Kageyama felt his heart break. Of course he wouldn't want to die, but hearing that from such an optimistic person hit him hard. His heart was aching, as he pulled him impossibly closer. He didn’t know what to say, or if Hinata wanted him to say anything. 

“We can try to make the most of the time you have left. We could do new things, or go to places you’ve always wanted to be.” Kageyama was trying his best to comfort him, but didn’t really know how. He came up with that idea seconds ago, since he also wanted to do some things for HInata. After all, they were only in their first year of highschool. There was so much more for HInata to experience, that he may never get the chance to.

“That would be nice,” Hinata mumbled into Kageyama’s shirt. Kageyama felt a small sense of relief that he was able to help Hinata calm down. After all, he cared about HInata. That’s what friends do.

Hinata slowly calmed down, his breathing slowing to an even plateau, other than a few occasional sniffles. He wasn’t shaking as badly as before, but they both stayed in each other's arms. Thinking of what him and Hinata could do before his time ran out, Kageyama closed his eyes. Bringing him closer, if that was even possible, he felt Hinata relax in his arms. After a second, Kageyama made sure Hinata didn’t faint by letting go of him a little bit. 

Hinata grabbed him closer. Back to where they were before, standing in the kitchen and holding onto each other as if this was the last time they would be able to be with each other like that. They were both thinking of what they could do before Hinata died, and stayed quiet for a long time. Surprisingly, Natsu hadn't woken up yet. So they stayed in each other's arms until HInata broke it.

“Thank you.” He wasn’t crying anymore, but there were still tears on his cheeks. Kageyama wiped them away.

“Yeah. You’re welcome.” Hinata’s soft skin touched Kageyama’s finger, as he wiped away the tears on his cheeks. It was nice, being with him like that. Kageyama felt his heart flutter when Hinata looked up at him and smiled. The sun came out from behind a cloud, and the room got brighter. Hinata’s eyes were addicting to stare at, but Kageyama knew he couldn’t look into them forever. Cherishing these moments was all that he could do. Locking away these moments into his deepest core, and saving them for the rest of time. That way he could remember Hinata forever.

At some point, Natsu had walked into the room and started complaining about being hungry. So Kageyama made her something so she would quiet down and stop pestering him to feed her. Hinata watched the encounter, and giggled at the annoyed but caring look on Kageyama’s face when he gave Natsu her food. She ran into the other room, to do something else. Probably to play with her stuffed animals, or run around with toy cars and drive them all over the place.

After a while of sitting in silence, Hinata and Kageyama made idle talk. Mostly about the weather, as well as some talk about their school work. Hinata mostly led the conversation. So Kageyama didn’t have to worry much about changing subjects or keeping the conversation going. But he had something he wanted to say to Hinata.

“You should make a wish list. Of things you want to do before you… die,” Kageyama suggested. He made sure not to interrupt Hinata’s talking, so he waited for a small chance to say something.

“I already kind of have one.” Kageyama was a bit surprised to hear that, but it made sense. Anyone would have been smart enough to make a list of things they want to do before they die if they knew when they were going to die.

“We should do some of them then. Me and you. We have a few weeks until your mom gets back from her business trip, so we can take all the time you need.” Happiness flowed through Kageyama when Hinata smiled and nodded, knowing that Hinata would like to do some of those things with him. It was refreshing that he was finally being included in something that didn’t require him to be adept at something.

“Should we do it in order, or like randomly?” Hinata asked. 

“In order I guess. That would make it easier, as well as you can add or take away things. And you can change the order of things.” Kageyama felt at ease. Hinata could choose what he wanted to do first. He could make things top priority, that might seem stupid to Kageyama but meant the world to Hinata.

~~

After Hinata charged his phone to full battery, he went onto his notes app. That’s where he was keeping his list.

“I’m going to order them from things I really want to do to things I kind of want to do.” Agreement came from Kageyama, and he waited as Hinata sorted through the words on the list. It took him surprisingly long to do, although this list was very important to Hinata. Once he finished, Kageyama asked to see it, but Hinata said no. As if Kageyama would make fun of him for what he put onto the list at top priority. But, Kageyama respected his decision on keeping the list a secret. So, he asked if Hinata wanted to do the first thing today.

“I guess we could!” the smile on Hinata’s face made Kageyama grin a little bit. Hinata started typing on his phone.

“What are you doing?”

“Erasing one of my goals…” Hinata said, concentrating hard on erasing it.

“What was the goal?”

“To make you smile!” Hinata looked up at Kageyama with the biggest smile Kageyama had ever seen. He felt heat rise to his cheeks, as he looked away from the beautiful sight in front of him. His heart would explode if he looked any longer. As well as the room got a bit brighter, but Kageyama was used to it. At this point, the sun was so indecisive with when it would come out or hide behind a cloud that Kageyama didn’t notice it that much.

“That's so supid,” Kageyama said, covering his face from embarrasement. Hinata giggled, and Kageyama looked back at him. Hinata was staring at him, with the stupidest smile on his face. Kageyama looked away again.

“What’s the first thing on your list anyways? We should do that before the day’s over.” Kageyama refused to look back at Hinata.

“Okay, uhhhh…” Hinata seemed to be looking at his phone and reading through his ‘top priority’ list. “Let’s go biking down a big hill!” Kageyama looked back at Hinata, astonished that he would suggest something like that for one of the ‘top priority’ things he wanted to do before he died.

“You could do that any day of the week, Hinata.” Kageyama knew it was important to him, but it still seemed like something he’s done many times before.

“But I really want to do it,” Hinata groaned, making Kageyama instantly agree with a ‘fine’.

~~

Kageyama’s bike wasn’t made for something like going down a large hill, since it would wobble and his brakes didn’t work properly.

“Yay!” Hinata yelled, going down the hill at top speed. Although the hill wasn’t as big as \hinata wanted it to be, it was still quite a large hill. Kageyama yelled some nonsense about going too fast, and how his breaks were faulty. But the bottom of the hill came sooner than he thought, driving his bicycle on flat ground and slowing down steadily. Hinata came down fast, and almost fell off his bike when he was slowing down.

“That was so fun!” Hinata exclaimed, jumping off his bike and dropping to the ground. He was laughing, tiredly laying on the grass he just rode on. Kageyama got off his bike wearily, and walked over to where Hinata was laying. Slowly and quietly, he laid down next to him. Hinata moved a bit closer, his laughing dying down. The sun was so bright, it burned Kageyama’s eyes. Although, it was nice having the sun hit his face for the first time in a while. Even though he goes outside a lot, he never sat like this and stared up at the sky.

Some of the clouds were in the shapes of animals, like one that looked like a cat or one that looked like a bird. Hinata took the liberty of pointing out a bunch more that weren’t even remotely close to what he was naming them. He pointed out one of the clouds and said it looked like a fish, but in reality it looked like a misshapen circle. Kageyama let Hinata have his fun, though, agreeing with him about the odd shapes in the sky that he’s claiming look like bears or ferrets.

The walk back was loud, since Hinata was complaining about having to walk his bike back. He was breathless, even though he has previously rode his bike to school and barely been tired at all. They were walking slower, but Kageya,a didn’t mind. Walking slow was easier than trying to keep up with Hinata’s usual almost-running pace.

They quieted down when they reached Hinata’s house, walking up the small steps to Hinata’s door. After a moment of trying to open the door, Hinata remembered to grab the key from his mailbox. They only left the spare key there for today, since they were going out and knew Natsu would lock the door if she saw it was unlocked. Hinata put his bike away, and let Kageyama open the door. Waiting for his orange haired friend to come back, Kageyama held the door open. He waited, and waited. Then he got worried.

Hinata had gone around the side of the house, so Kageyama went there too. It felt like an eternity going around the corner, as if the corner was the longest thing Kageyama had ever experienced. He saw the bike laying on its side, like Hinata had thrown it in. And then he saw Hinata. Laying on the ground, stirring awake. He was confused. So Kageyama kneeled down beside him, and tried talking to Hinata. No response came, other than some long breaths and small groans. So, carefully, Kageyama picked up Hinata. Hinata clung onto Kageyama like a koala, with the small grip he had. Walking inside was easier than he thought it would have been, since he left the door ajar. 

Kageyama laid down Hinata on the couch, Natsu was still in her room doing whatever she was doing. Hinata’s head rolled around on the couch, slowly coming back to his senses. Kageyama watched, not knowing what to do with Hinata. He wanted to ask him what he needed, but Hinata couldn’t respond since he was still coming back into reality.

Walking into the kitchen, Kageyama grabbed a glass of water for Hinata. He didn’t know if he would be thirsty when he woke up or not, but this was the best option. He was tired too, but seeing Hinata moving subtly on the couch was enough to wake him back up. He sat down in front of Hinata, and watched him as he slowly opened his eyes and the confusion faded. They locked eyes for a second, but Kageyama immediately broke it by grabbing the glass of water and handing it to Hinata. He assumed he would have been thirsty, since he recently went down a hill at top speed.

A moment passed of Hinata making small movements around the couch, and trying his best not to spill the glass of water. He was still confused, but Kageyama’s presence made him feel safe. Hinata took a few sips of the water, and handed it back to Kageyama. He took the glass, and wiped the spilled water off of Hinata’s face. Hinata laughed quietly, and Kageyama smiled. His eyes were fluttering open, to a consistent stare at Kageyama. He returned the gaze, after putting down the glass that Hinata handed to him.

They stared at each other for a while. They did this a lot, without a good reason. They just felt like looking into each other's eyes. 

“What happened?” Hinata asked.

“You fainted when you were putting the bikes away.”

“Oh, ok. Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For taking care of me!” Hinata’s smile returned, as big as ever. Coincidentally, the sun decided to come out from behind a cloud.

“Oh, yeah. Your welcome I guess.” Kageyama didn’t really know what to say, since as soon as he saw Hinata he froze. Although this had happened before, so he was a bit faster at reacting when he saw Hinata. He was just as scared as the first time this happened. 

“Can you get me my phone?” Remembering the list, Kageyama went and grabbed Hinata’s phone and handed it to him. It took a minute for Hinata to find the list, but when he did he crossed a few things off. Deciding not to ask, Kageyama sat down next to Hinata on the couch. Waiting for him to start a conversation, Kageyama sat and stared at his hands. He fidgeted with his hands, the silence was deafening.

The only sound that filled the room was Hinata and Kageyama’s breathing, and the tapping of Hinata’s fingers on his phone. Kageyama wanted to go grab his phone, but he didn’t. He wanted to stay sitting next to Hinata. So, after some careful thought in the silence, he stayed. He didn’t really need to think of not leaving Hinata’s side, it just came to him naturally that Hinata was vulnerable and confused right now, therefore Kageyama was needed in this situation. A slight tug on Kageyama’s shirt signaled for him to look over at the smaller boy next to him.

“Can you put my phone back? “ The question seemed innocent enough, and Kageyama obliged. Taking the phone out of Hinata’s hand, he walked back over to Hinata’s bedroom and plugged the charger in. Hinata called for Kageyama to come back and choose something to watch with him. Hinata was usually a very active person, only resting when he slept. So seeing him like that, laying on the couch and lazily scrolling through channels, made his heart break. His usually energetic bouncing-off-the-walls friend was now laying almost still on the couch after he rode his bike down a hill. 

“What’s on right now?” Kageyama asked, his voice almost a whisper. He was careful to stay quiet, as if Hinata might shatter if he spoke any louder.

“Uhh, some reality TV, comedies I think, and Natsu’s cartoons. So not much,” Hinata said, his words slurring.

“Put whatever on, I don’t care.” Kageyama could feel Hinata’s smile, putting on a random show. The show had so many bright colors that it lit up the room. Natsu wasn’t with them, but they weren’t worried. They knew she was either in the other room or with Hinata’s aunt. Kageyama heard his phone start ringing, so he went and picked it up.

“Hello?” Kageyama said into the phone, waiting for a response.

“Ah, Kageyama! I was just calling to tell you that Hinata’s aunt will be taking Natsu until I’m back. Just so you don’t have to worry about her.” It was Hinata’s mother on the phone.

“Oh, alright. Thank you for telling me.” he was about to hang up, when Hinata’s mother said something else.

“How’s Hinata doing?” His heart stopped. Did she know about Hinata’s condition? Had Hinata told her about how it was still going on? “You know, like how he’s dealing with being home alone and all. He’s almost always spending time with me and Natsu,” Hinata’s mother said. Kageyama felt relief rush over him.

“Oh, yeah he’s doing fine.” Kageyama kept his answer short.

“That’s great to hear! And thank you for spending time with him! He talks about you all the time, so I feel like you’re a trustworthy kid.” Kageyama could feel a smile pulling at his lips. 

“He… talks about me?”

“Oh, yes, all the time! He always talks about how you're so good at volleyball, and how much he values you as a friend that opposes his personality!”

“Oh… that’s… cool…” He didn’t know what to say, so putting in minimal conversational words was his go-to. Although a moment of silence followed.

“I better let you go then, I don’t want to keep you from what you and Hinata were doing!” They said their goodbyes, and hung up. Kageyama almost felt honored that Hinata was talking about him to his mother.

Hinata was still laying on the couch, where he was before Kageyama had left the room. Still flipping through channels, Hinata didn’t notice when Kageyama sat down on the couch. Moments later, Kageyama felt something on his lap. It was Hinata. His head was resting on Kageyama’s lap. 

“Are you tired?” Kageyama asked, not wanting to push Hinata off of him. It was nice having him resting there.

“Yeah, a bit.” Hinata was quiet.

“It’s 2:49 right now, so you can sleep until we have to make supper.” Kageyama felt Hinata nod. He fought the urge to put his hand on Hinata’s soft hair, and lost the battle. Slowly, hesitantly, he placed his hand on Hinata’s head. Stroking his hair softly, Hinata started to fall asleep. He didn’t seem to have a problem with Kageyama softly touching him, so he continued. It was nice, anyways. His hair was soft.

~~

Kageyama woke up on the couch, still in the same position as he was before. Hinata was still on his lap, and the TV was still going. The light’s were off now, since Natsu was picked up by one of Hinata’s relatives for a while. The moon was bright through the windows, even though they were almost closed. Hinata was dead asleep, and Kageyama didn’t want to disturb him. 

Kageyama reached for his phone, after he remembered it was there. Mindlessly scrolling through his phone, staring at some random picture his mother posted, he started to feel Hinata stir. He was waking up slowly, but not because of Kageyama’s phone. It was 7:51, so Hinata had slept for quite a while.

“Mmm… what time is it?” Hinata asked, his voice hushed.

“It’s 7:51 right now,” Kageyama replied, looking down at Hinata’s head. He was still rolling around on Kageyama’s lap, so he couldn’t catch Kageyama’s gaze.

“Oh my gosh, I’ve been sleeping for so long,” Hinata groaned. He tried to sit up, but fumbled and fell back onto Kageyama’s lap. For a second, Kageyama was worried. But, Hinata got up again. He finally sat up on the couch, and rubbed his eyes. Sleep was still lingering on his face, when Kageyama asked him if he wanted something to eat. 

“My mom brought us some groceries, so I could make something for you.” Hinata’s face lit up, though he still looked tired.

“Sure! Do you want me to help?”

“No, it’s fine. You should rest. You seem tired.” Kageyama looked over at Hinata, and Hinata pouted. Kageyama chuckled, and got up. The kitchen was oddly dark, considering the light’s being on. The things his mother brought for him to make dinner were still in the place he put them, other than the few items still on the counter from before Kageyama went with Hinata to bike down the hill. He was lucky that the items didn’t need to be refrigerated.

~~

Hinata was pacing through the kitchen, with Kageyama watching him from the couch. He was worried about something, but he wouldn’t say what it was. Even after Kageyama’s many attempts to ask him what was wrong, Hinata brushed it off and gave a “It’s just,” and never finished his sentences. Kageyama started to worry about Hinata, especially what he was worried about. The fact that he was pacing around in an area that Hinata only ate in was odd. Finally having enough of it, Kageyama got up.

“Hinata, what's wrong?” Kageyama asked, grabbing Hinata and turning him around. Kageyama’s hands were on Hinata’s shoulder.

“I’m scared,” Hinata finally admitted, after a while of silence.

“Of what?”

“My…” Hinata gestured to his chest, and Kageyama understood. Hinata was starting to tremble, slowly moving closer into Kageyama’s embrace.

“It’ll be fine,” Kageyama said, the uncertainty in his voice obviously not heard by the smaller boy. He pulled Hinata close, resting his head on Hinata’s. As Hinata started to cry, Kageyama could only stand there and stroke his hair. He didn’t know what to say. Although, it seemed like Hinata found comfort in being in Kageyama’s arms. So, he stood there and held him. Sometimes, Hinata’s hands would grab onto Kageyama’s shirt and pull it, letting the raven haired boy know to bring him closer. Kageyama sometimes doesn’t realize that he loosens his grip on Hinata, but he was grateful that Hinata still had the mindset and strength to pull him closer.

Kageyama’s heart pounded in his chest, loud enough he felt the neighbors could hear it. Hinata listened to Kageyama’s heart, somehow finding it calming. Kageyama felt the same way. The feeling of Hinata’s hair slipping through his fingers, his warm body pressed against his, was calming.

“What are you thinking about?” Hinata asked, his voice muffled but impressively controlled. Kageyama didn’t want to answer, but he did.

“Volleyball,” Kageyama said. Although, he was thinking of Hinata. Of the time him and Hinata had left, how much he wanted to do so many fun things with him, how his hair was so soft, and how he felt like Hinata fit perfectly when he hugged him.

“Hmm, me too now.” Kageyama smiled softly, and hugged Hinata tighter. Hinata’s suggestibility, and his easily-convinced nature was adorable. Hinata started to waddle around, and Kageyama followed him. They waddled together, still holding each other, around the kitchen. Hinata started bouncing up and down, giggling.

“Hinata, calm down,” Kageyama said.

“I have to pee!” Hinata started to wriggle away from Kageyama, and ran over to the bathroom. Kageyama grinned, and started to put the drying dishes away that he sent Hinata to do before. He didn’t mind doing it, letting Hinata rest was the most important thing to him. Giving Hinata the most comfortable life before the possibility of Hinata’s time running out can stick into his mind and paint his face with fear again. Kageyama hated the thought of Hinata leaving him, especially since it caused Hinata to get upset as well as fear for the time he might not have.

The toilet flushed from the other room, and Kageyama’s head turned around when the door opened. He had just finished putting all the dishes away, after trying to be polite while he looked through the cupboards.

“So, what should we do now?” Kageyama looked at Hinata, a bit confused. “I mean, I know I slept for most of the night, but we should do something!” Hinata looked tired, but Kageyama wanted to do something too. Playing board games seemed like a good idea, but Hinata refused. Card games were suggested in the mess of all the things they could do, and that was a no as well. They both have had enough television for the day, as well as nothing good was on at the moment.

Finally, they decided on playing one of Hinata’s video games. They all looked quite boring, so Kageyama let Hinata choose which one they would play. It looked like some odd two-player shooter game. It did have a fairly intriguing cover, so they decided to give it a try. 

“Ahh, you killed me!” Hinata said, making Kageyama smile. They were playing against each other, and Kageyama was obviously winning. Although, Hinata was very good at the game. Surprisingly, Kageyama ended up winning the game. Hinata whined for a bit, then suggested playing again. And so, they played more and more. Until the sun was far past set, and their eyelids became heavy.

Hinata had trouble getting up, so Kageyama offered a hand. Pulling the orange haired boy up, Hinata slumped over onto Kageyama’s shoulder. So, he walked Hinata over into his bedroom. Hinata was a light person, and Kageyama was tempted to pick him up. But, he didn’t. Almost dragging him to where they would retire for the day, Kageyama tripped on a few items they had pulled out while looking for the game.

Finally, they made it. Placing him down slowly, Hinata fell asleep almost immediately. Kageyama checked his phone, to see if his mother texted. She hadn’t so he laid down on the futon that Hinata grabbed for him a few days ago.

~~

Kageyama woke up to Hinata whimpering and rolling around on the ground. At first, he just sat there. He didn’t know what to do. Then, he asked Hinata what was wrong. Hinata’s head turned around as fast as his body would let him, and Kageyama could see the pain in his eyes. 

Grabbing Hinata, he heard him try and say something. It sounded like “I’m fine,” although Kageyama wouldn’t believe him. He sat Hinata up, and asked what Hinata needed. Luckily, Hinata pointed at something. First Kageyama thought it was behind him. Turning around, realization hit. Kageyama pointed at himself, a confused look on his face. Hinata nodded subtly, and leaned forward.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Kageyama knew he wouldn’t get a definite answer, but he pulled him in close. Hinata needed him. There was no possible combination of words that could convince Hinata to go to the hospital, and Kageyama knew he would use all his strength trying to get the small boy out of the house, let alone out of his arms. They stayed like that until Hinata calmed down. His whimpering had stopped, and it seemed like the pain was gone. Hinata didn’t seem tired anymore, but Kageyama felt exhausted.

Hinata was holding Kageyama now, while he drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

~~

Mangos was the first thing he smelt that morning. Waking up with tangled limbs, Hinata was still asleep. Kageyama watched the familiar rise and fall of Hinata’s chest, the smell of his mango shampoo was slowly fading. Hinata hadn’t showered for a couple days, but he still smelled amazing.

“So cute,” Kageyama whispered. He immediately covered his mouth afterwards. Kageyama didn’t know why he had said that, and why he said it out loud. Although, he was speaking the truth. Nuzzled into Kageyama’s chest, Hinata laid peacefully. The dream he was having seemed like a good one, for a smile was on his face. Although, Kageyama’s dream was an interesting one. As always, it started and ended with playing volleyball, but he noticed Hinata was there a lot more than he usually was.

Most of the other people were there the same amount as usual, but Hinata was always somewhere to be found. Either right beside him, or running into the gym when he was late, or he could be standing beside another person with that longing look in his eyes. Kageyama missed that gaze. Hinata looked zoned out most of the time, like he was in his own little world. Kageyama knew why, but it was still odd seeing the bright boy being so out of it.

He had that look in Kageyama’s dreams too. Hinata never seemed to be really there. He was either staring off into space, or running around on court. Kageyama missed how Hinata used to be. It was selfish, and he knew that. But he still wished Hinata was the same as he used to be.

“Mmmm,” Hinata groaned, stirring awake. Kageyama jumped a bit, startled by Hinata’s sudden moving. Hinata was jolted a bit, but he didn’t seem to mind. He woke up as slowly as ever. Kageyama sat there, still as a statue, waiting for Hinata to come to his senses. Although it didn’t take as long as he anticipated, he slowly backed away from Hinata. There was no resistance to the action, other than Hinata holding onto Kageyama’s shirt while he backed up. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, like he always did, Hinata looked at Kageyama. For a moment their eyes locked. Then Hinata turned his head quickly, and stared at the ground. He pouted, which wasn’t odd, but this was a different kind of pout. One that Kageyama hadn’t been introduced to yet.

“What’s wrong?” Kageyama asked, hoping for an answer that made sense. Instead, he got no answer. Just a huff from the boy in front of him, and an odd feeling in his chest. He wondered what Hinata could be thinking about. He didn’t understand, so he got up and started heading to the kitchen. Hinata grabbed Kageyama’s pant leg, and tugged a bit. 

“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong now?” Hinata nodded, still looking at the ground.

“Come back…” Kageyama paused before he asked what he meant. Figuring Hinata was still tired, he told him to go back to sleep. “No, I wanted to…” Hinata finally looked up at Kageyama, tears welling in his eyes. “I wanted to… be held by you… again…” Kageyama’s shock was replaced with care, slowly stepping back to the spot he laid before. Scooping Hinata into his arms, a small giggle coming from the orange haired boy, he sat with him curled up in his arms. He refused to lay back down, lest he fall back asleep. So he sat there, with Hinata in his arms, calmly waiting for some sign that Hinata was finished with sleeping.

He enjoyed it, though he would never admit to it. He wanted no one to know how much he loved holding Hinata in his arms, touching his soft hair to his face and stealing his warmth from every inch of his body. He couldn’t go on his phone, Hinata would wake and pout again. So, he sat and watched Hinata sleep peacefully. Remembering he didn’t have to worry about Natsu showing up unexpectedly, he relaxed. Tired eyelids were fluttering to a close, but he could not fall asleep yet. He had only just woken up. So he sat, waiting for another sign from Hinata’s warm body.

~~

Kageyama woke up to Hinata trying to wriggle out of his tight grip. For some reason, he had a tight grip on Hinata. He ended up falling asleep, despite his efforts. He didn’t mind, and neither did Hinata. Squirming around, Hinata didn’t want to make a sound. Just in case he woke up Kageyama. Although he was already awake. Kageyama slowly let go of the orange haired boy.

“What time is it?” Hinata asked quietly.

“How should I know? I just woke up too?” Kageyama hid his chuckle, and stood up. Hinata reached a hand towards Kageyama, and Kageyama took it. He helped the small boy up, and walked him over into the kitchen. Opening the fridge and looking for something to eat, Hinata waddled over to the seat nearest to him. Sitting and staring at Kageyama while he sifted through the kitchen trying to find what to make. Hinata’s stomach growled, and Kageyama’s head whipped around. They were shocked at first, but then Hinata started laughing. Rocking back and forth, Kageyama watched him with a smile on his face. Turning back around, he grabbed a few things from the cupboard. A muffin and a glass of water was all he could find, especially since they didn’t have much “breakfast” food.

Placing the muffin and water in front of Hinata, who was still laughing a bit, Kageyama walked over to a seat close to Hinata. He watched, amazed at how fast Hinata was eating the muffin. Kageyama had one too, but he lost his appetite. There wasn’t any reason for him to lose it, he just didn’t feel hungry. Hinata smiled at Kageyama, Kageyama grinned back. A moment passed of Hinata gulping down the water, then he got up and grabbed his phone.

Kageyama wondered what he was doing for a second, then remembered the list. He wondered how long the list was, and knowing Hinata it was probably a few pages long.

~~

A week had passed since Kageyama had been taking care of Hinata. Hinata was continuously having problems, like fainting out of nowhere, not being able to keep up with a slow walking pace, and chest pains that happened randomly. Hinata’s mother would be coming back in a few more days, so Kageyama was making sure everything was clean for her arrival. He didn’t want the house to be a mess when she had been out and working for so long. 

Hinata’s list had two more items on it, and Kageyama knew what they both were. Around the sixth day that Kageyama was staying with Hinata, he had been shown the list. Hinata was taking good care of himself, the only part of him that wasn’t the same was the breakdowns when Hinata was scared he was going to die. Of course he didn’t want to, and they both knew that. Even so, it was surprising and sometimes scary to see Hinata in such a vulnerable state. He had always been a happy person, but recently he’s been worried and skittish. 

“Which one should we do first?” Hinata asked Kageyama.

“Umm, the coffee one sounds the best. We could do that, walk around for a bit if you’re up for it, then go to the hill we biked down and watch the sunset.” Hinata nodded in agreement, and Kageyama smiled. Even if Hinata couldn’t walk fast enough to keep up with Kageyama, Kageyama would carry Hinata. Hinata would protest being carried, but would ultimately give in at some point.

“I know the perfect coffee shop then!” Hinata beamed at Kageyama, causing some blood to rise to his cheeks. Kageyama looked away, and agreed to the place Hinata suggested. 

“Should we get my mom to drive us there?” Kageyama asked.

“Hmph, we could walk,” Hinata said. He looked over at Kageyama, and suddenly widened his eyes. “Yeah, let's ask your mom to drive us.” Hinata looked away, embarrassed. Grabbing his phone, Kageyama patted Hinata on the head. A comforting action to Hinata, and an attempt to let Hinata know he wasn’t judging from Kageyama. It ultimately worked, and Hinata was smiling again. It was the afternoon, so they would have plenty of time to walk to the hill. Even if it was far away, and even if Kageyama had to carry Hinata, they could make it in time.

Kageyama texted his mother to pick him and Hinata up after sending the address of the coffee shop they wanted to go to. It seemed like seconds later that she showed up at the front door, smiling at Kageyama and Hinata.

“Are you boys ready?” she asked.

“I sure am!” Hinata replied.

“Yeah, me too.”

~~

The coffee shop was small, but welcoming. It smelled amazing, and it made Hinata happy. Kageyama walked up and got a few things. A coffee for him, a tea for Hinata, and a few small treats for the both of them. Hinata thanked Kageyama, as they both sat down. Again, Hinata was sitting close to Kageyama. It was a normal occurrence, they both had grown much closer over the week they were together. Their shoulders were touching, and Hinata’s hand was close to Kageyama’s.

Nervously, Kageyama took a hold of Hinata’s hand. Hinata looked shocked for a second, but accepted it and squeezed Kageyama’s hand a bit. Kageyama smiled, and drank his coffee. 

Minutes passed before they were both done with their drinks. Kageyama and Hinata stood up, still holding each other’s hands. Throwing their empty cups away, and walking out of the store, Hinata squeezed Kageyama’s hand again. Kageyama looked over to Hinata, who had a faraway look in his eyes. He was dizzy. Kageyama lifted Hinata up. Hinata was hanging off the front of Kageyama, like a koala. Kageyama had Hinata’s legs on his arms. Walking as fast as he could to the spot they had both agreed on. It was the same hill they rode their bikes down when Hinata first made the list. Although Hinata was embarrassed, he held on tightly to Kageyama. No one who walked by them batted an eye, as if this was a normal occurrence.

The hill wasn’t too far away, they made it just in time. They didn’t bring a blanket, although Kageyama suggested they did. Hinata refused the idea, and said sitting on the grass would be more fun. In reality, Hinata said “funner”, though that isn’t a real word and Kageyama felt the need to correct him on it.

Placing Hinata down onto the grass at the top of the hill, the plastic bag they carried with their snacks was hanging off Hinata. Carefully grabbing it off of Hinata, and putting the contents onto the ground in front of Hinata, he sat down. Right next to Hinata. Hinata rested his head on Kageyama’s shoulder, and Kageyama wrapped an arm around him. Hinata started humming, as the sun was setting. The tune to “You are my sunshine”. Kageyama whispered the lyrics.

“You are my sunshine,” Kageyama whispered, as Hinata opened one of the snacks they had brought.

“My only sunshine.” Hinata was tired, resting himself more and more on top of Kageyama.

“You make me happy when skies are gray.” Hinata nuzzled his head onto Kageyama’s shoulder, slowly falling asleep.

“You’ll never know dear,” Hinata’s breathing was getting slower.

“How much I love you.” The sun was going down, and Hinata’s breathing was too.

“So please don’t take my sunshine away.” Hinata went limp. His breathing stopped, and Kageyama sat there. Watching the sun go down slowly, holding Hinata closer. He wasn’t sad, although he should have been. He was mad. Upset that the universe took Hinata from him so quickly. The weeks had flown by so fast he felt like he spent almost no time with Hinata. He wasn’t mad, he felt numb. No feeling could truly take hold of Kageyama’s mind at that moment. He felt a whole abundance of emotions, but he couldn’t find the energy to express them. He hadn’t even processed what happened yet, though no one would be able to.

Once the sun was gone, disappearing behind houses, Kageyama got up and lifted Hinata. It was harder than he thought it would be, but considering the fact that Hinata is completely gone and can’t help by holding himself up even slightly would make it hard to hold him. Kageyama almost left the bag of sweets he bought for Hinata, but he remembered right before he started walking back and picked it up.

Walking back was quiet. Uncomfortably quiet. Kageyama felt uneasy. Hinata was heavier than ever, the sweets he held the last thing he shared with him. Hinata’s house was dark. They hadn’t left light’s on, but it was unusually dark. He turned on the lights, although that didn’t help much. 12:56 am on a saturday. Kageyama placed Hinata onto the couch. The one he placed him onto when he fainted after the bike ride.

His journey to his phone was a long one, agonizingly slow. He painfully dialed Hinata’s mother’s number.

“Hello, Kageyama!” she sounded cheerful, making Kageyama upset. “I’ll be home in around 20 minutes, I’m just getting into my car.”

“He’s gone.” Kageyama was controlling his voice to the best of his ability, but saying it outloud made it all too real.

“Pardon? Who’s gone?”

“Hinata. He’s…” Kageyama didn’t want to continue.

“What do you mean? Did he run away?”

“No. He’s… dead.” Kageyama could feel warm tears streaming down his face. She didn’t say anything for a while.

“I’ll be right there.” The urgency in her voice was unsettling, although her son had just died so it made sense. They hung up, and Kageyama walked back over to Hinata. Touching his cheek softly, Kageyama smiled. The tears came faster, as emotions started coming down like he had never felt before. His smile broke while looking at the fading color in the bright boy he used to know. Nothing was going to be the same.

~~

“Where is he?” Hinata’s mother burst into the house, and looked around frantically. She finally noticed Kageyama sitting beside her son. Kageyama had stopped crying. He couldn’t feel anything any more. Things were going blurry, and Hinata’s mothers screams were muffled. From what he could hear, he guessed she was saying “My baby,” and some other things along the lines of that. He couldn’t hear, he couldn’t see. Everything was so dark. It was so dull.

~~

Kageyama woke up in his bed, cold sweat running down his forehead. He had another nightmare. After quitting volleyball, contrary to the other teammates' protests, he barely went to school. He wasn’t dealing with Hinata’s death well. The team knew about it too, but continued as normal. One of the reasons Kageyama couldn’t handle being in the club anymore. It wasn’t the same without Hinata. His bright smile on the court, the way he smiled after he hit a spike, and the shine he brought every day into Kageyama’s life.

Slowly, Kageyama started to realize that when a sun would come from behind a cloud, or he thought lights were on, and when rooms seemed brighter than they should be, it was all because of Hinata. He brought color into Kageyama’s life, and he lost that. He lost his color. The only thing that would bring a light into the room.

Hinata’s mother had invited Kageyama to Hinata’s funeral, and he refused. He couldn’t bare to see his sunshine being buried. He was going to visit him today, though. Visit his grave with Hinata’s mother, so he wouldn’t be alone. Maybe Hinata’s mother could bring the light that Hinata used too.

He rode his bike there. He found a love for bike riding after Hinata made him go on a few because of his list. It was a beautiful day, though everything was gray. 

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Hinata.” Kageyama parked his bike near the entrance, and walked over to the Hinata family grave. He felt a burst of emotions filling him, but he couldn’t find a way to express them. Ever since Hinata had been gone, he had even more trouble expressing his emotions. For a while they stood there. Not making a sound. Hinata’s mother reached over, and put a hand on Kageyama’s shoulder. She was almost as warm as Hinata, but it wasn’t the same. He wanted to hold him again. Have him all to himself, and fall asleep again while he was holding Hinata in his arms. He wanted to see that smile again. The one that lit up rooms and made blood rush to Kageyama’s cheeks.

“He talked about you all the time. He was so happy when you were around.” Hinata’s mother was crying, and Kageyama grabbed her hand. A form of comforting. She squeezed it, and he felt a lump growing in his throat. He was only in his first year. Why couldn’t he at least have made it to the end of that year?

“I know. I miss him.” Kageyama’s voice broke, but he kept it under control. 

“We all do.”

“Mrs. Hinata?”

“Yes, Tobio?”

“Can I cry now,” Kageyama asked.

‘Of course.” 

All his emotions went out. His anger, his sadness. Everything he felt. His tears were warm, and his throat hurt. He kept himself from screaming. He dropped to his knees, and placed his head in front of his grave. He kept crying. He was letting it all out. He knew he couldn’t handle it. He shouldn’t have gone here. He felt Hinata’s mother’s hand on his back, and he cried harder.

“I wanted to take him to nationals.” Hinata’s mother started crying. They sat there, trying to comfort each other while crying. It lasted for a while, and Kageyama could feel himself calming down. He was still sad that Hinata wasn’t there anymore, but he wasn’t crying. He was numb again. He felt nothing. Hinata’s mother was calming down too. They sat for a while, just breathing. They didn’t want to leave just yet.

~~

It’s been months since Hinata died, and Kageyama still misses him. Recently, he had been thinking about him a lot. Worried he would forget about him. The world became too dark to dream in color, and everything seems so grey. It was dark without his sunshine. He realized he had lost the person that introduced him to the world. The world he used to love. Playing volleyball became painful. He kept trying to set it to Hinata, even though he knew he wasn’t there. He was afraid his team would leave him again, and couldn’t handle seeing the court without that bright ball of joy jumping around asking persistently for a toss.

It took him a while to come to terms with it. But he had finally accepted his realization that all those times when the lights were on when they weren't before, and when the sun came out from behind the clouds, and when the night almost seemed like the day, it was all because of Hinata. He loved him. And he waited too long. He could have told him at any point. He knew Hinata loved him too, but he was afraid. Of something he didn’t know.

He realized too late that what he felt towards Hinata was love, and the regret he felt was too much to handle. He wanted to go back, and tell Hinata how he felt. The day he went to Hinata’s grave, Hinata’s mother gave him a small urn of Hinata’s ashes. She knew how much they meant to each other, so she thought it would be better to leave him with a part of the boy he loved. Kageyama was grateful for that. He kept the urn near his bed, and every night he would stare at it until he fell asleep. He held onto his pillows in an attempt to recreate how Hinata felt in his arms. He visited his grave often, to talk to him. Even if he couldn’t hear him, it was the best he could do to compensate how much they used to talk. 

It was his turn to do most of the talking anyways.


End file.
